Sunday, April 28, 2013

All A-Glow and a Fucking Milestone

After spending February away on work and struggling with distance and loneliness while focusing on my own insecurities and jealousies, it was good to reconnect with Ellen. We spent a day together in the city processing the many emails and text messages we'd sent each other, and ended stronger and more grounded by the end of the day. I was ready and looking forward to our Glow Night party at the club, albeit with some unease about how it would turn out for me.

Well, the day didn't start out well. Food poisoning from the day before had left me weak and crampy and tired from a night of multiple visits to the toilet. Pharmaceuticals and fluids helped, and I was determined to keep our date. Ellen was skeptical but I didn't want to cancel. This was a big date for us both.

By the time we arrived at the club, I was feeling pretty human, but had absolutely no expectations of fun given how the day had gone. We joined Ron and Nora and a few others at Kelly's table for dinner after changing into our party wear. Ellen looked awesome in a very revealing glow dress with more slits than fabric. It was the most revealing dinner wear she'd worn yet, and she'd been unsure whether she had courage to wear it, but the reactions from others, not least Ron's hungry eyes and roaming hands, were all the affirmation she needed. I wore mostly white, include briefs with a man pouch that tied in the front.

Kelly's friend with benefits, Roger, was there but was paired with Lisa, a pretty but reserved young colleague of Kelly's whom I found physically attractive, but her reserve wasn't easy to overcome and her Robert Plant Girl blank face was slightly off-putting. I know that "look" is common among the beautiful people (and Lisa is certainly beautiful), but I have never understand the appeal of looking and acting bored. I sat between Lisa and Ellen at dinner and did have some small talk, but never felt much of a connection, so I didn't pursue anything with her. Maybe next time, though, since the next morning she did make a point of saying goodbye to Ellen and me.

Throughout the evening, there was an undercurrent of competition between Ellen and Kelly over Ron. I tried to ignore it. It wasn't a scene Ellen had chosen nor anything I wanted to engage on, but it was there nonetheless, as Kelly ostentatiously doted on Ron, going down on him at the table. Ellen kept her distance to avoid stirring the pot, at least for a little while, and Ron seemed bemused and not necessarily displeased to be at the center of the competition.

After dinner, the dancing started, and went on a long time. The room was pretty crowded, with lots of fun sexy costumes, at least among the women. I was one of the few men who wore anything fun, and eventually stripped down to my man pouched briefs and had a turn with some hot women in the cage at the center of the dance floor. Ellen and I danced together a bit, but I gave her space and decided to dance with others. One attractive woman seemed to be on her own and somewhat open to dancing with me, but when I asked if I could touch, she got kind of squirrelly until I limited myself to hands on hips, which she didn't mind but also didn't really responded to. Weird vibes, so I backed off. I also dance near Mark and Beth who had made their way over to our area of the dance floor. They seemed to be focused on each other but I was glad to see them and hopeful I might have another chance to play with Beth and redeem myself from my disappointing dog pile performance on New Years Eve.

I was feeling better, much better, and thinking that maybe the night might hold some promise.

Ellen eventually said she and Ron wanted to head up to play in a froggy chair, and I decided to go with them, which Ron was fine with but Ellen was perhaps disappointed about. I know she likes to be with him alone, but I had made it clear that my familiarity with the whole scene and especially her passion for Ron would only start feeling normal if I was able to watch and get comfortable with it. Besides, I still really enjoy watching her get off, even if it isn't with me. And of course, Ron can get her off like no one else, whether with his cock or his fingers.

Nora also came up, and we watched and Nora chatted with others while Ron and Ellen fucked. There weren't yet many people in the play area, as the action was still mostly on the dance floor. I could see Roger and Lisa had found a niche and were going at it, which I would have been interested to see, but they were in a pretty private area that limited views of anything but tangled legs and feet. Still, it sounded like Lisa was having fun.

I was not yet ready to get into the action. Watching Ellen is a turn on for me but its also complicated, at least with Ron, so I don't get erect like I had always assumed I would. I would like to take turns with Ron fucking her, especially on the froggy chair, which I've yet to experience, but it wasn't yet happening for me.

After a while, Ellen was ready for a break. She'd cum many times, including numerous G Spot orgasms from Ron finger fucking her, which I still haven't succeeding at with her, but which Ron seems to bring off with ease. She was shaking and ready for a drink, and Nora hadn't found anyone to play with yet (I still wasn't ready to play with her), so we walked around the play area together and then headed back down for refreshments and dancing.

The dancing, especially with the cage there and the dayglow and black light effects on the audacious party wear, was raucous and fun. This was an unusual night in that there was often more action on the dance floor than in the play area. I danced again in the cage with half-naked women and with Madeline, a large and very vivacious friend of Ron and Nora's who was at our table and had been flirting with me. She was fun to dance with and we groped each other playfully.

There were multiple women vying for Ron's attention, including Madeline and Kelly and another older lady named Tanya, which I found to be interesting to observe. He never wants for a hand, a mouth, or a pussy on his cock, and revels in it. I have been amazed at how totally grounded, supportive and sharing Nora is with this.

After a while, Ellen and I headed up to the play area and wandered around, watching the action. We got to the mirror and found Mark and Beth engaged with each other, and a few others, and Mark noticed us and invited us to join. I was keen.

What happened then was a bit of a blur. I went down on Beth, which was fun for us both, then she went down on me, which was somewhat successful in getting me hard. Mark and Ellen were fucking and I think there was someone else around, but it's all a bit vague. At one point, Ellen was on her back with Beth licking her pussy and Mark fucking Beth and I got stiff as a board from seeing Beth's pretty head between Ellen legs, and soon had my cock in Ellen's mouth. Then we all switched and I had a condom on and was easing into Beth's hot, tight pussy from behind while she gave Mark a blow job and Ellen took a break for a pee. By the time she got back, we'd changed configuration and Mark fucked Ellen while I fucked Beth. Ellen seemed to enjoy herself but not as much as I'd expected, and Beth and I certainly had fun, although I never did cum. I really need to concentrate to get to orgasm these days, but the pleasure was still very much there.

Finally, I had had a full swap with Ellen, and fucked my first woman besides Ellen in over 23 years, a woman I found very attractive, to boot! It was fun, it felt good, and I felt I had reached a very important milestone in our open marriage. After we'd cooled down and kissed good night all around, Ellen and I headed downstairs for a drink and to get ready for bed, as we were both tired, and I felt a rush of relief and achievement and raised my arms and pumped them in the air in victory. I had conquered a major hang-up! And it felt good to have done so with Ellen next to me and with Mark's wife as a sort of balance. After all, he had been a memorable fuck for Ellen on Halloween, and my sense of intimidation of what other men could do for her has been one of my biggest hang-ups. Maybe it's a bit small minded, but at a psychological level, for me it was somehow important. Mark and I were now even. He fucked my wife, I fucked his.

Again I slept only fitfully. Ellen and I stayed in the play area which was warmer and less crowded. We listened to Ron fucking Kelly long and hard as Kelly demonstrably proclaimed her pleasure and enthusiasm. Ellen was bothered by the whole strange undercurrent between her and Kelly throughout the evening, so listening to Kelly's exclamations and full-throated yells made us both wonder if it wasn't for Ellen's benefit in part. After all, Kelly knew we were settling down to sleep nearby.

The next morning, I was exhausted but couldn't lie around any longer. The sky was brightening, Ellen was stirring too, and we got up, showered, and headed down to see who else was up while waiting for breakfast. After a while Mark and Beth appeared. Mark was keen as always to play, although Beth seemed a bit cool to the idea and Ellen wasn't taking the cue. Rona and Nora also showed up, and it wasn't long before Ellen was pulled over into Ron's magnetic field. It was disconcerting to see my wife unable to sit next to me because she was so drawn to Ron.

Mark and Beth eventually headed up to play, and Ellen asked if I minded her and Ron going up for a fuck, too. I wasn't keen, but I knew she was, and I decided to go with them and watch and maybe if things worked out, join in.

Mark and Beth were fucking on a bed next to a froggy chain that Ron and Ellen opted for. I sat next to the fireplace between them all and watched the four of them, stroking my semi-hard cock but not getting anywhere. I was simply too tired and discombobulated. They all had a lot of fun and as I listened to Ellen's passionate response to another roux of Ron's finger-fucking, I even felt an orgasm hovering, but it just didn't happen, and the vibe for me wasn't right. I am in awe of the stamina and readiness of both Ron and Mark virtually anytime and anywhere, and again the nagging sense of inadequacy was gnawing at me that morning. Not as acutely, thanks to the previous night, but there nonetheless.

Mark and Beth finished up and headed off, and soon Ellen and Ron were finished and headed to take a shower together. I got dressed and Ellen and Ron showed up and we all started packing up.

After saying our goodbyes and thanks to Mark and Beth, Madeline and Nora, to Lisa and Roger, and to others who had by now gathered for breakfast, I pulled the car around to load up. Ellen had our bags outside and as we loaded the car Ron came out with his and Nora's things. We said our goodbyes and I turned away as Ron and Ellen embraced and kissed passionately. I heard Ron murmur something along the lines of "we really have chemistry." as they parted with a last kiss. He and I shook hands and he repeated something he'd said to me before. "You're a very lucky man, Nick."

It's true. Ellen is an amazing woman. She is my best friend, my partner in life, the mother and fierce protector of our children, and my truest confident. I want nothing but the best for her, and have struggled mightily to accept that I cannot be the lover who is her everything; that old romantic ideal. I am amazed at her capacity for sex, at the raw honesty and intensity of her passion when she is in the throes of orgasm. This has always been a huge turn-on for me. So when her attention and passion is directed at another, even someone as decent and warm and very very married (and thus, ultimately nonthreatening) as Ron, I am ambivalent, taking pleasure in her pleasure while feeling inadequate and embarrassed that I am not yet able simply to relish her happiness. But I have come a long way, and I recognize that Ron is an unusually talented lover and an atypically unmacho and sensitive gentleman. He and Nora are really amazing role models in their relationship and their willingness and eagerness to share and help others.

All in all, this was a night of discovery and growth for me. As if I'd finally arrived into a lifestyle that I had only been an observer of before. It was only a start, and I knew that I still had a long way to grow, but I was content as I hadn't been in previous nights. I felt a closer connection to Ellen as a partner in the lifestyle, in that she was no longer then only one having fun. I'd prove something to myself, and I guess to her, too. And I was ready for us to build on the experience as soon as possible. And build we most certainly did, as you can ready about in the next post.